ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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