i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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