Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
