Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
