She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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