It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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