Got a toothbrush?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The adults are the big ones right?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
