Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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