dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've blown a few things in my day
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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