i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
