do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
