I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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