also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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