I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Randomize
