There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
