I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Come on in and take your pants off
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