I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
