he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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