No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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