Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
