Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
