Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
