Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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