I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
