My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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