Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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