i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
