after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
