I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
