I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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