I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
