Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
