i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
