I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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