I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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