So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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