Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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