I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
