Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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