if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
