Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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