apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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