In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
