Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize