I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
