Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize