I puked a lego.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
