What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
