My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
