Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
