you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
