he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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