Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize