My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
