He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize