Please, let me fuck your mom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
