Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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