It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
