Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
