I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I would fuck him just for his dog
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