Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
