i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
