This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
